No one ever tells you that you're not supposed to itch your eye with the same finger you used to fish out the peperoncinis you ate for lunch.....and there's no warning tab on the eye drop bottle that says "Do not use this to soothe irritation caused by peperoncini juice 'cause it makes tear gas that will cause your eye to tear and burn for the next forty minutes."
No need to thank me....
No one ever tells you that you're not supposed to eat a pb&J sandwitch while you bleach the toilet. Its called multi tasking. HOWEVER...here is what the bottle doesn't warn you about.
Holding a pb&j sandwitch in one hand, do not attempt to place the conveniently shaped Lysol bottle with the spout thingy pointing upwards between your knees and apply pressure while you squeeze the cap and twist with your pb&j-free hand because here's what happens.....the pressure inside the bottle builds up...and the moment that you release that pressure, the little bit of Lysol that gets trapped right under the cap shoots like a bullet precisely and accurately and goes right up under your glasses hitting you smack in your eye.
What follows is rather pathetic. You drop your half eaten pb&j in the toilet and go running to your land lady who has to hold you down while she flushes out your eye with saline solution. When you recover you have to fish out your sandwitch so that it doesn't clog the toilet......which still hasn't gotten cleaned.
Again...no need to thank me.
6 comments:
After I picked myself off the floor from laughing, I just want to thank you for those "don't try this at home" suggestions. There is a lot to be said for mult-tasking. You made my day!
HAHAHAHAHAHAHA
Awesome books huh!!!! They just have the four right now. Twilight, New Moon, Eclipse, & Breaking Dawn. You can go to the Stephanie Meyers site. She wrote started to write a book from Edwards point of view. You can read what she got done on there. I guess she sent out four copies to friends to get their opinion and one of the leaked it. She got upset and hasn't finished it, but what she had was SOOOO good! I hope she finishes it soon!
dang! i was planning on cleaning my toilet tonight and a pb&j sounded tasty! guess i'll have to do one at a time!
you make me laugh! i am kinda anti social. lol. i live in logan and am finally graduating in may. that is about all that i've been up to. nothing exciting. at all. i do get to go home tomorrow for the first time in months and i'm pretty stoked! how you been?
Yeah, of course I remember you! It's been a long time! Looks like you are doing good. Thanks for leaving me a comment. It's good to hear from you. Keep in touch!
P.S.Hope your eyes are doing better!!!! lol
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