Alternate Career???

So I'm bored. Waiting for mum to call from the airport so I can go pick her up. Nothing to blog about. So here are my halloween pumpkins...I've decided I don't like taking the guts out...nope, not at all. Well, here you go.....my pumpkins. I figure if I get kicked out of the program at school I can become a professional pumpkin carver :)

OOOh, perfect timing...she just called and I just finished.

Things They Never Tell You.....

No one ever tells you that you're not supposed to itch your eye with the same finger you used to fish out the peperoncinis you ate for lunch.....and there's no warning tab on the eye drop bottle that says "Do not use this to soothe irritation caused by peperoncini juice 'cause it makes tear gas that will cause your eye to tear and burn for the next forty minutes."

No need to thank me....

No one ever tells you that you're not supposed to eat a pb&J sandwitch while you bleach the toilet. Its called multi tasking. HOWEVER...here is what the bottle doesn't warn you about.

Holding a pb&j sandwitch in one hand, do not attempt to place the conveniently shaped Lysol bottle with the spout thingy pointing upwards between your knees and apply pressure while you squeeze the cap and twist with your pb&j-free hand because here's what happens.....the pressure inside the bottle builds up...and the moment that you release that pressure, the little bit of Lysol that gets trapped right under the cap shoots like a bullet precisely and accurately and goes right up under your glasses hitting you smack in your eye.

What follows is rather pathetic. You drop your half eaten pb&j in the toilet and go running to your land lady who has to hold you down while she flushes out your eye with saline solution. When you recover you have to fish out your sandwitch so that it doesn't clog the toilet......which still hasn't gotten cleaned.

Again...no need to thank me.

Walking the Ridgepole of the Roof

OK...so my mother wasn't quite so thrilled with the last blog and gave me a LAUNDRY LIST of the things that I SHOULD blog about...SO, here goes...I had made only two New Years Resolutions this year. The first was to go skydiving. Check. The second was that I wanted to complete a Century Race. (for those of you not quite sure what exactly that is....that is a 100 mile bike race, on a bike that you pedal, with no motor, and its done in a single day/afternoon) Well it just so happens that in Norwalk, California, a small town about 40 miles south of Los Angeles was holding a community outreach support something or other century race. So I sent them my money (yes you actually PAY THEM so that YOU can ride 100 miles on thier roads) September 20 was the the set aside day.

I trained as much as I could through the summer but when the temperature goes over 110 degrees before 10am...its really hard to find the motivation to get up and ride great distances at 4am. But I did the best I could.................and then school started. WRENCH in my training! I figured since I already spent the money, and TOLD everyone that I was going to finish the race I had better WOman up and go through with it. How hard could it really be, right? So a friend of mine said that one week before the day if I could ride 60 miles I would be able to finish the whole 100. Up until this point (the WEEK before the ride) the furthest distance I had gone was about 45 miles.

Well, since mum had made other travel plans for that weekend(no feeling bad mother)...I enlisted the moral support of my super-est cousin...NICOLE!! (of course I had to bribe her with a trip to Disneyland)

The big day arrived, and my super-est cousin Nicole dropped me off at 6am and stayed with me until the whistle blew and we were OFF! Surprisingly enough, for the first 50 miles I stayed with the first 15 people (all of which were men) out of 200+ riders. Woohoo!!!

yeah...no.

By mile 60 I pulled off for the rest stop and I thought my legs were painted on. Not a lot of pain, mainly because I couldn't FEEL ANYTHING. Mind over matter...soldier on. But at this point I was nearing the coast by Manhattan Beach and the the wind was picking up....A LOT. Mile 70...I pulled off to the side of the path and made "the call". Bawling like a baby I said that I couldn't go any further...my lungs felt like they were going to implode, every muscle was screaming and my legs felt like they were filled with lead. My mother told me how proud she was of me...that I didn't need to prove anything to anyone and I didn't have to finish. Well this was my moment to walk the ridgepole of Moody's roof...everyone knew I was there for the 100 miles.

It was honestly the hardest thing I have ever done in my life but knowing I had conquered and finished compares to NOTHING :)

And of course the following day I was good on my promise...the Happiest Place on Earth was calling to my super-est cousin and I......where all your dreams come true.

DISNEYLAND!!!

UNDERSTATEMENT OF THE YEAR!

The Lone Cyprus Club

So I'm wondering if its pathetic that all of my family has wonderful stories to tell about their families and their children...the do's and don't's of parenting, the "you'll never guess what Johnny did at school today" stories...Well not me...no siree Bob!

No...I am the lone ranger...the "single female with a cat and no social life with a freezer full of lean cuisines." I suppose it hits everyone differently...at Christmas time when they notice the 'one lone stocking' hanging above the fireplace, or when you call the chinese place and THEY give YOU your order......yes, those of us in the boat alone have all experienced "that moment"


However my 'moment' seemed to come to me as I was browsing the pictures saved in my computer. I have pictures from Erupoe, Florida, California, Mexico, Hawaii, birthdays....98% of which I am smiling by myself....HOWEVER....it didn't hit me until I realized that the only other pictures I have of "someone else" are all Dr. Greg House. A rough guesstimate of about 30 or so pictures all downloaded.



Yes...it hit me...and what do we do during those moments of 'how did I get here in life'...we head for the comfort food. That didn't help...there smiling back at me plastered all over the front of my refridgerator door is none other than Dr. Sarcasm himself.

So, since I have no interesting family news...no children swallowing drill bits or pictures of my adorable baby in a yoda costume, no husband 'fixing' the kitchen sink or artistic expressions of carving names into the sides of a car....I figured if you can't beat 'em you might as well join 'em. So instead of pitying my "lone cyprus" status y'all get to read about the only other person I have pictures of.

Kinda pathetic, huh? :)

This is a dedication to the rest of the 'lone cyprus' members.....

(hey Dave thanks for the newest and best addition to my Hugh pics!)

Pure Joy

Well I have no glibb comments...no sarcastic remarks...just pure JOY! There is nothing that can quite compare to the feeling of freefalling at 120mph from 15,000+ feet.

Now...I just want everyone to know how much I love them. My mother thinks that all of my pictures turned out like glamour shots......well mom.......I think this shot can go into competition with the "smooshed face on the copy machine when I was 10 years old" picture.